Is just Fantasising About Someone Wrong?

Question: I’m a girl and I fantasise about girls sometimes. I know homosexuality is a sin but is just fantasizing wrong?

Answer: one thing is for sure; everyone has done it – but that dons not make it right or easy to deal with. The fact is, not fantasising about anything is hard in this day and age when we are bombarded by sinful imagery, film and TV, media and advertising designed to make us desire unobtainable things and things we should don’t even need. But the question is; is it OK to fantasise (which is quite often mixed with lusting after what is not yours to have) in heaven? The answer has to be no.

Now onto what Jesus said about this;

“But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

Adulteration means corruption

The word adultery means to corrupt – to make impure. In other words you defile the other person (and yourself) because they (and you) may belong to, or eventually be destined to be with another person. This is why it is wrong to fantasise about people or lust after things that are not yours, be they people, jobs, cars or anything. This is called coveting. So by lusting and fantasising after someone who is not your spouse you break 2 comandements; 1) do not covet and 2) do not commit adultery. 

God knows your struggles

But look, God knows our struggles in this flesh. Remember that this flesh is temporary and was not how our bodies were originally or will be when all creation is restored. The flesh that dies and separated from God is constantly needy is part of the curse placed on us because we waned to be like or ‘as gods’ in the garden – the perfect place and our original setting at the beginning.

Why the spirit is willing but the flesh weak

But, we can break this fleshly curse God tells us in The Bible and not by pretending it’s not there or anything that God makes is bad in itself. The original body was good but it has fallen, needy and now dies. But if we are to break the curse of the flesh and all the sin that comes with it, it can only be done through God’s powerful spirit, and only by first acknowledging that something is wrong before it can be dealt with at all. So don’t beat yourself up over it, but fear God and His commands, and most importantly keep facing him even in your darkest temptations, and pray he brings you to a place of maturity where you are ready to receive a spouse that fulfils you physically and spiritually.

What is Sin?

So what is sin according to the Bible? Let’s ask Jesus Christ this question – the person we Christians are to be conformed to. Jesus christ said regarding what sin is;

“Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.”
King James Bible

Hope that helps you:)

More help and advice article guides on what is sin

is just fantasising about someone wrong?

biblical help to deal with sin and how to stop sinning in the bible

why is sex before marriage wrong in the bible?

sin according to wikipedia

Satans Meeting & Worldwide Convention

Satan Calls a Meeting

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons. In his opening address he
said, “We can’t keep Christians from going to church. We can’t keep them
from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can’t even keep them
from forming an intimate relationship with their saviour. Once they gain
that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken.”

“So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners,
but steal their time, so they don’t have time to develop a relationship with
Jesus Christ.”

“This is what I want you to do”, said the devil:

“Distract them from gaining hold of their Saviour and maintaining that vital
connection throughout their day!” “How shall we do this?” his demons

“Keep them busy in the nonessentials of life and invent innumerable schemes
to occupy their minds,” he answered.

“Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow.”

“Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work
6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty

“Keep them from spending time with their children. As their families
fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of

“Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small
voice. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they
drive. To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their
home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays
non-biblical music constantly. This will jam their minds and break that
union with Christ.”

“Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds
with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards.
Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogues, sweepstakes,
and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products,
services and false hopes.”

“Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands
will believe that outward beauty is what’s important, and they’ll become
dissatisfied with their wives. Keep the wives too tired to love their
husbands at night. Give them headaches too! If they don’t give their
husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere. That will
fragment their families quickly!”

“Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the
real meaning of Christmas. Give them an Easter bunny so they won’t talk
about his resurrection and power over sin and death.”

“Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from
their recreation exhausted. Keep them too busy to go out in nature and
reflect on God’s creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events,
plays, concerts, and movies instead. Keep them busy, busy, busy!”

“And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and
small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences.”

“Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power
from Jesus. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing
their health and family for the good of the cause. It will work! It will

It was quite a plan! The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing
Christians everywhere to get more busy and more rushed, going here and
there. Having little time for their God or their families. Having no time
to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives. I guess the
question is, has the devil been successful at his scheme?

You be the judge! Does “busy” mean:


Temptation & Lust

How a Christian Can Survive & Overpower Temptation & Lust!

“I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out”

little-devil-illustrationOK – the answer you’ve all been waiting for – how do I stop lusting!!? The apostle Paul understood our predicament. He told the Romans, “I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out” (Romans 7:18-19). This means Paul struggled with sin-just like the rest of us. And like us, he would make up his mind not to commit a certain sin ever again. Did he succeed? No way!


Christian books dealing with Lust >>

Christian books dealing with Temptation >>

Now, if the apostle Paul couldn’t overpower his sin, what makes us different. Will power alone is not enough. Even when in a world free of erotic images, like a country like Pakistan, where men and women never hang out together, and the women are covered with clothing from their head to their feet, you still find prostitutes. If men in a country like that can’t control their lust, how can we?

From the moment we get up in the morning until we climb between the sheets, we’re bombarded with erotic images and messages. Suppose you made up your mind to get through one day without lusting after a woman. On your way to work your eyes are drawn to the bikini-clad model greeting you from a billboard. A few moments later as you stop at an intersection, you aren’t able to keep from noticing the attractively dressed young woman crossing the street. At work a friend brags about the gorgeous babe he bedded the night before. As you order lunch, the waitress with the short skirt winks at you and smiles. When you get back to the office, a coworker eagerly shows you his favorite erotic image on the Internet. On your way home you stop at the grocery store and catch yourself gazing at the seminude models that adorn the magazines by the checkout counter. When you finally get home, you plop down in an easy chair and flip on the TV. – you’re exposed to more of the female anatomy than I found in the pages of Playboy when I was a kid.

With the high level of erotic stimulation you face on a daily basis, do you believe you can control your lust alone? A friend once told me (and he said this with a straight face), “I’ll never have a problem with sexual lust.” I looked at him and said,

“You’re absolutely amazing. If that’s true, you’re stronger than Samson, godlier that David, and wiser than Solomon.” I’ll never forget his response. He sat down and stared at me for a half minute without uttering a word. And then he said, “I never though of it like that.” I’ll guarantee you, if Samson, David, and Solomon were here, they’d all say, “You can’t defeat your lust alone!”

You Can’t Reform Your Lust “OK,” you may be thinking, “maybe I can’t beat it. But I can make myself better. I can reform my lust.” I frequently talk with new Christians who think that becoming a follower of Christ means the lust problem is solved. It’s as though they think Jesus waved some sort of magic wand over them and-presto!–their sinful nature was transformed. Their lust was gone. When they discover that their problem with lust seems even worse than before, they decide they’ll study the Bible and pray more. Much to their surprise, that doesn’t seem to solve the problem, either.

Listen to Paul’s words (Romans 7:10-11)
“The very command that was supposed to guide me into life was cleverly used to trip me up, throwing me headlong.”

As sinful human beings, our lustful appetites are so evil, they’ll use God’s good commands to tempt us. Like a rod stirring up dirt that has settled to the bottom of a jar of water, so God’s law excites our lust. Forbidden things are more exciting. Women who are off-limits take on a greater appeal. God says don’t and our lust says do. God says do and our lust says don’t.

Trying to reform our lust is like trying to make a dog into a person. For thirteen years a buff-colored cocker spaniel named Pumpkin graced our family. Over those years I taught Pumpkin all kinds of tricks. She obeyed the common commands like sit, lie down, and roll over. I also trained her to jump through a hoop, close a door, sit on her hind legs, and fall over as though dead when I shot her with an imaginary gun. Yet in spite of all my training, I couldn’t keep Pumpkin from acting like a dog. She always did doggy things. She ate things people tried not to step in. She sniffed other dogs in places only dogs sniff. She went to the bathroom in public. No matter how well I trained Pumpkin, she was still a dog. Similarly, your sinful propensity doesn’t reform when you enter a church. It doesn’t change when you come to faith in Christ. You can go to church, read your Bible, pray daily, and even lead a ministry without reforming your sinful nature. Paul said, “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature” (Romans 7:18).

When we fall under the domination of our sinful nature, we’re capable of doing anything evil, whether we’re believers or not. When controlled by our lust, we can no more do good than a dog can talk. Yet when dealing with their lust, men sometimes think they can reform it. They deny its evil power. You may grow as a Christian. You may become more like Christ in your spiritual nature. But in the flesh, in your sinful nature, you’re no better than the day you trusted Christ. And because your lust is driven by sin, you can’t reform it. You Can’t Starve Your Lust One of the problems I have with a lot of recovery programs is that their primary emphasis is on abstinence. They think the key to defeating an addiction is to stop the behavior. Now, please don’t misunderstand me.

We can’t control any addiction unless we stop acting out. But if that’s all we do, it won’t work. We’ll simply change addictions. For example, our lust will transfer from sex to alcohol. And if we stop drinking, it will move on to shopping or work or gambling. It’s impossible to starve our lust to death. Until the day we’re with the Lord, we’ll struggle with sin. Your sinful nature will resist letting go. For a while you may ignore it. Later you may insist it doesn’t really have a hold on you. But if you hope to break its power, you must first realize it’s there and admit you don’t have the power to dislodge it. Hopefully, you’ll tire of fighting a losing battle. Paul did. In desperation he cried out, “Oh, what a terrible predicament I’m in! Who will free me from … this deadly lower nature?” (Romans 7:24 LB). If someone as spiritually together as Paul realized he was fighting a losing battle, isn’t it time for you to do the same thing? I know giving up isn’t easy. But it’s a step you must take if you’re’re going to find lasting freedom.

Satan and his demons stalk the path of every believer

As a Christian, you will be offered all manner of enticements to lure you away from an obedient and faithful walk with Christ. No one is exempt from this, and no one is completely successful in countering them (I John 1:8, 10),

But some Christians succumb to temptation so often that they see no hope for victory. They give up and give in without a struggle. This is an unfortunate condition, born out of despair, for it will blind the believer to the marvelous provision God has made for overcoming temptation. The first thing the Christian must learn is that God does not lead him to sin. The Apostle James clearly condemns the attitude of blaming God for tempting circumstances (James 1:13-15). God may test His children, a process designed to purify and strengthen them, but He does not lead them into sin. Without exception, sin results when temptation strikes a sympathetic chord in the human heart, and man has no one to blame but himself. Blame himself he must, though, if he is to be forgiven. Our age is one in which blame is passed to society, to the pressures of the times, or to some other faceless, nameless creature. If one is to be forgiven, he must first humbly admit, “I have sinned.” As long as he looks for someone or something else to blame, he will be totally helpless in combating temptation. The Christian needs to recognize the role of Scripture in overcoming temptation. The Psalmist stated, “Thy Word have I hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against Thee” (Psalms 119:11). When God’s Word becomes an integral part of the believer’s life, it fortifies that person against temptation’s power. Christ Himself demonstrated the Word’s power when He submitted to Satan’s temptations with a quote from the Old Testament (Matthew 4:7).

A systematic, prayerful study of Scripture is an absolute prerequisite to defeating temptation. The Word not only warns of Satan’s methods (II Corinthians 2:11), but it empowers against attacks (Ephesians 6:11-17). Another essential to victory is to avoid temptation. On several occasions, Christ told His disciples to pray that they might not fall into temptation (Matthew 6:13; Luke 22:40). Some believers understand that temptation is not the same as sin, so then feel that they can enjoy the enticements of temptation without any harm. This behavior becomes a type of game – seeing how much titillation one can ‘enjoy’ without falling into overt sin. Such an attitude is sinful in itself, for it fails to take seriously God’s commands for holiness in attitude as well as in action. One of the most crucial passages concerning temptation is I Corinthians 10:13. “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able; but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.” This verse is God’s guarantee that He will never allow Satan to go too far. The temptation’s intensity and the escape route will be uniquely tailored to the individual, and will not exceed his capacity. Knowing there is a way of escape, and using that way of escape, may be quite different things. If one is ignorant of God’s Word, one will likely not recognize the escape when he sees it, for he won’t know how God works. Whether or not he uses the escape, though, the believer can never truthfully claim that the temptation was so strong that he had to succumb to it. Another promise is that no one in this universe is uniquely tempted. While no two people are exactly alike, the temptations confronting each individual are basically the same as have confronted others.

Jesus Christ was tempted in all points like we are, and suffered in this temptation, but did not sin (Hebrews 2:18; 4:15-16). He is, therefore, uniquely a sympathetic Savior, knowing from His own incarnate experience the pressure that temptation can exert. Since no one is uniquely tempted, Christians can help and learn from one another. Merely knowing that another Christian has overcome greed, for instance, may be just the assurance that someone needs to make another attempt to overcome it in his own life.

The Christian who has grown in one facet of his spiritual life is responsible for helping other Christians who have not yet grown in that area. In this manner, Christians can edify (or, “build up”) one another in their faith (Ephesians 4:15-16). The Scripture contains no promise of help in overcoming temptation for those who are unsaved. Indeed, until one repents of his sin and accepts by faith Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, he has no capacity for pleasing God. But those who are saved may appropriate the power and wisdom of the Word, relying upon God’s grace, and can therefore have victory, even over Satan’s most subtle and compelling temptations.

To experience God’s grace, we must first recognize our need. That’s not easy. You realize that you have a problem but still believe you can handle it alone. Guys especially hate to admit defeat. We don’t want to ask for help.

Lust is part of the world, I John 2:16-17, NIV.
“For everything in the world, the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does–comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.”

Lusting itself is often used as an excuse for further sin. Matthew 5:28, TLB. “But I say: Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

The lustful man will pay the consequences, Proverbs 6:25-29, NIV.
“Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.”

God’s grace enables us to say no to lust, Titus 2:11-12, NIV.
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”

God will not allow us to be tempted beyond our ability to resist. I Corinthians 10:13, NIV.
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

Those who do not yield to temptation will be rewarded. James 1:12, TLB.
“Happy is the man who doesn’t give in and do wrong when he is tempted, for afterwards he will get as his reward the crown of life that God has promised those who love Him.”

When a Christian is faced with a temptation, he should run the other direction. II Timothy 2:22, TLB.
“Run from anything that gives you the evil thoughts that young men often have, but stay close to anything that makes you want to do right. Have faith and love, and enjoy the companionship of those who love the Lord and have pure hearts.”

Prayer strengthens Christians against temptation. Mark 14:38, NIV.
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”

Meet temptation with God’s Word. Matthew 4:1,3,4, NIV.
“Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. The tempter came to Him and said, If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread: Jesus answered, “It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

Temptation & Lust help at christian 2003

Why is Sex Before Marriage Wrong?

What Does it Say About Sex Before Marriage in The Bible?

One of the most frequently asked and hardest questions to answer that new and young Christians ask is; “why is sex before marriage wrong?” I asked the same question myself many times to my Christian peers when I first became a Christian since it is obvious that God loves sex since he created it. Sometimes it’s hard to see why something so natural could be wrong in God’s eyes.

Are You Taking What Belongs To Someone Else?

Could one of the reasons be that when you have sex outside marriage you are potentially actually being intimate with the somebody that God designed or intended to be with someone else. In that case this would be a form of stealing what is not yours… even though it’s before hand. Supposing someone pledged to pay someone some money in the future and placed it in your hands for safe keeping – but then you spent the money. Is that not too dissimilar?

What Does Adultery Mean?

“Thou shalt not commit adultery”
Most people now days think that adultery means that only having sex outside marriage is wrong – in other words, sex with people who are not married is somehow acceptable in your quest for a husband or wife if you say sorry to God afterwards and eventually get married. But the word ‘adultery’ more than just sex outside marriage, to adulterate something means to corrupt it.

When criminals adulterate liquor they add dangerous substitutes to alcohol (as if alcohol is no dangerous enough). Apart from defiling themselves in this ungodly activity they are corrupting the thing they are selling and make it extremely dangerous for anyone else to touch. Thou shalt not commit adultery therefore means more than just do not have sex outside marriage. It means do not commit corruption of any kind wether it’s looking upon a woman with lust (sexually desiring what is not yours).


What Does The Bible Say About Sex Before marriage?

Where in the Bible does it mention what the problems are with pre-marital sex and are there any practical reasons as to why it may advise against such practices? Below I’ve found some interesting and encouraging articles on the issue of sex before marriage for Christians. In The Bible premarital sex is called fornication. When fornication is mentioned in the bible, God is always opposed to it. It is always spoken of as defiling the person. It always carries severe penalties;

First let’s see just how serious God looked on fornication in The Old Testament. Remember the laws of God have not changed, only that now we are no longer to be killed for sin, if we repent, stop sinning and place our sins on God’s sacrifice of his son Jesus.

In the Old Testament women were not permitted get close to the male they were betrothed to. Only under chaperoned conditions could the two meet. Sex before marriage was not allowed and breaking this came with the MOST severe penalties. If another male took her virginity she was considered immoral and could be stoned to death for adultery along with the male.

Thankfully God promises the most amazing blessings on people that obey His laws designed to protect us as he knows how difficult life and temptation is. Committing adultery exposes us to disease, unhappiness, divorce, and a unwanted children!

Mark 7:18 And he saith unto them, Are ye so without understanding also? Do ye not perceive, that whatsoever thing from without entereth into the man, it cannot defile him; 19 Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly, and goeth out into the draught, purging all meats? 20 And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. 21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, 22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: 23 All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

Galatians 5:16
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. 18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Revelation 21:5 And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. 6 And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. 7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. 8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

Related Articles on Sex before Marriage

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No sex before marriage!

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Christian advice on sex before marriage at christian 2004

Gambling Help & Advice for People Who Gamble

Advice on Gambling Addiction, Lotteries & Betting Problems

Want to quit gambling or know someone that does? Gambling addiction destroys people, finance, and in turn their lives, families and anyone who becomes involved with them. If you are addicted to gambling you know it MUST stop but you have no idea how to start. Hold on, there is help at hand. Your creator in heaven is far bigger than to what to him, what is a measly little nasty issue that the devil and his minions in heaven and on earth concoct to ruins the plans he has for people that love God! I have seen gambling ruin one life in particular – a friend of mine who was once very successful and who over time lost his great career, his wife and ended up an alcoholic living in his mum’s garage!

Help for Problem Gamblers; Advice for Christians who want to gamble, bet & do the lottery

How are we supposed to not get caught up in these evil snares when our leaders actually encourage it! It must be said that a government that allows this is absolutely scandalous to allow what is happening to happen but at least The Bible predicts that things will become this way in the end times which most agree we are very much now in so we are not surprised on one level. Greed is now more important in politics than what’s right. One the envy of other nations we are fast becoming the ‘stupid man of Europe’ – unable to cope with crime – politically correct to the point of undermining our own laws and traditions that are no longer implementable.

open-bibleonwhiteHow To Stop Gambling for People who Are Compelled to Bet & Can’t Stop

The answer is much much simpler than you could imagine. You only have to be willing to have your mind renewed. If gambling and betting has got hold of you, No.1 start reading your Bible (if you are new to Christianity read the for gospels in the New Testament) and ask God through his grace to break the chains to help you (you have to be willing to be changed). No.2 check out the following websites that deal with gambling addiction.

You will find that over time, if you read God’s word he has left for us, the words are so powerful that they will actually ‘re-wire’ your thinking physiologically – yes – physically simply by reading the good words of God and the story of his son’s love for us, you will begin to naturally lose the desire to do what it wrong and displeases your father and creator who loves you more than you will ever know! This may take time so be patient but keep reading. You don’t need expensive therapies designed to empty your mind and pockets endlessly – you need the healing power of God’s word implanted and taking root in your mind and body so that the very neurological tracks in your brain can be re-booted and ‘re-set’.

Resetting the brain’s neurological pathways and YOUR behaviour patterns

Scientists have known for years that simply by repeating something it becomes etched into the mind changing the neural pathways and ultimately our behaviour. So why don’t all counsellors just tell us this and be done with it? $$$$$ and the fact they may need to start reading themselves may have something to do with it. May God bless you richly in your new walk with him!

American Style Super-Casinos & online Gambling comes to the UK
Gambling in the UK is soon to take on the frightening proportions that it has had around the rest of the world – particularly the US – whom we seem to copy on virtually every front albeit a decade or two later. It happened with music and now gambling and betting threatens to undermine the UK’s already crumbling society as the politicians are rapidly giving in to the massive allure from US ‘high-flyers’ wanting to create super-casinos on our soil.

What this means for this country – and lets make no mistake and pretend otherwise as common sense alone will tell you – is thousands of gambling addicts which in turn will have a knock-on effect in crime rates, the already over burdened health service and ultimately deaths in this country resulting indirectly from gambling. If you are thanking of gambling – don’t – you are playing with fire as I have seen first hand how it – combines with alcohol and drugs can ruin a perfectly good life and family.

Related Christian Topics

Article on Gambling & Lotteries | Christian Discernment | good stewardship of money | Guidance by God | The Bible & Money | Alcoholic Addiction Recovery Help

Christian gambling recovery, help and advice on stopping betting & help at 2004