Better Self Confidence for Christians: Happiness is an Inside Job!
Used by permission of Steve Wilson – Psychologist & JOYOLOGIST! – adapted by me!
Want Christian self esteem and confidence advice? OK – forget that kind of ‘self -esteem’ you hear about all the time on TV and in magazines. That’s hogwash. Real self esteem is not something you conjure up yourself but something that can only come from deep down – a real relationship with God. Happiness, the feeling of deep-down joy of life, and feeling really good about yourself, comes not from acquiring, but by contributing. Serenity and self-confidence comes from accepting ones imperfections, limitations, and what one cannot change. Self-esteem, your true worth or value, is not measured by your financial statement, job title, or trophies. Also see this Christian article on how to accept yourself as God sees you.
You are precious because you are a creation of the highest order of intelligence. If you forget the true source of your preciousness, eventually you will experience an emptiness, a gnawing hunger. There are not enough gold, jewels, cellular phones, big-screen TVs, or anything material to nourish the soul. The spirit can only be filled by giving, not by getting.
I am delighted when people become disillusioned! Over the course of thirty years of practicing psychology, I have seen many people acquire mountains of material possessions but remain miserable, angry and often, desperate. To me their disillusion is a hopeful sign because disillusion literally means then end of believing the illusion! If a person has been living under the illusion that happiness comes from ‘having’, then disillusionment may bring freedom from the desire to acquire!
Hunger is the body’s signal to take in food. Thirst signals a need for water. Fatigue means take a rest. Likewise we often feel that our lack of happiness can be remedied by getting something from the world. However the absence of joy is remedied only by giving.
Happiness is an inside job that consists of;
- becoming disillusioned that material acquisition is a measure of your worth
- remembering who you really are (precious)
- knowing your source
- laughing often
- serving with love!
The ABC of Happiness & Self Esteem
Steve Wilson! – All Rights Reserved
Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits. Believe in yourself. Don’t postpone joy! Enjoy today. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present. Family and friends are hidden treasures. Give up anger you might have been hanging on to.
Happiness is like perfume: you can’t sprinkle it on others without getting some on yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Jolly + jovial + jestful = joyful! Keep on learning. Learn something new each day. Look for humor in everyday situations. Make smiles happen. Never lie, cheat, or steal. Always strike a fair deal. Open your eyes, and see the beauty in all of nature. Play. You don’t stop playing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop playing. Quiet times give us balance. Read, study and learn about something new every day. Stop and smell the roses. Take control of what you can; let God have the rest. Understand others first, then seek to be understood. Visualize happy memories. Making others happy. X-ercise your right to be unique. Zero in on laughter and go for it!
The symptoms of inner peace and high self-esteem! – Source Unknown
- A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experiences.
- An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
- A loss of interest in judging others.
- A loss of interest in conflict.
- A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
- A loss of ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom).
- Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
- Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
- Frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes of the heart.
- Increasing susceptibility to love extended by others.
What the Bible says on self-esteem & confidence
Shyness can be overcome by relying on the Holy Spirit. , II Timothy 1:7, TLB. “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them.”
Our self-esteem is based on the value God places on us. Psalm 8:3-5, NIV. “When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that You are mindful of him, the son of man that You care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.”
“He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; He seats them with princes, with the princes of their people.” Psalm 113:7-8, NIV.
God values us and we’re constantly on His mind, Psalm 139:17-18, TLB. “How precious it is, Lord, to realize that You are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn towards me. And when I waken in the morning, You are still thinking of me!”
We are valuable. Luke 12:6-7, TLB.
“What is the price of five sparrows? A couple of pennies? Not much more than that. Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And He knows the number of hairs on your head! Never fear, you are far more valuable to Him than a whole flock of sparrows.”
The key to an accurate evaluation is knowing our identity in Christ. Romans 12:3, TEV.
“Do not think of yourselves more highly than you should. Instead, be modest in your thinking, and each one of you judge himself according to the amount of faith that God has given him.”
our self esteem should come from security in Jesus, I John 4:18, TLB.
“We need have no fear of someone who loves us perfectly; His perfect love for us eliminates all dread of what He might do to us. If we are afraid, it shows that we are not fully convinced that He really loves us.”
security in the midst of natural disasters, Psalm 46:1-3, TLB.
“God is our refuge and strength, a tested help in times of trouble. And so we need not fear even if the world blows up, and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam; let the mountains tremble!”
God never sleeps! Psalm 121:2-4, NIV.
“My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip -He who watches over you will not slumber”
Security is a settled mind, Psalm 112:7-8, TLB.
“He does not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen. For he is settled in his mind that Jehovah will take care of him. That is why he is not afraid but can calmly face his foes.”
Self-esteem knowing we have eternal life, I John 5:11-12, TLB.
“And what is it that God has said? That He has given us eternal life and that this life is in His Son. So whoever has God’s Son has life. I have written this so that you may know you have eternal life.”