Divorce and Remarriage; Is Marriage after Divorce Adultery?

“Hi, my question is regarding re-marriage. I am engaged to a man that has been married once before, and now divorced.  During the marriage, both parties did things that could be considered unfaithful to one another.  Although neither person knew what the other had done.  The marriage did not necessarily end due to the unfaithful acts. My questions are: 1) since my fiance committed an act of
unfaithfulness towards his former wife, is he then always considered an adulterer, even if he has repented of his sin?  2) Is he allowed to be remarried and have it be ok in the eyes of God?  3) IF I marry him, will I then be committing sin and be considered an adulterer?  Thank you so much.”
Hi there,
From my reading the Bible / Jesus is quite unambiguous as far as I can see about what is what – but he is also clear that forgiveness knows no bounds if it is sought earnestly.
The problem with this issue and others like it is that people tend to seek council of men who will say what they want to hear / fits with their circumstances/lifestyle – rather than what God says – and we all do it – Ive done it. Jesus didn’t say to the woman at the well – go back and marry all your ex-husbands – he said go and sin no more – ie move forward. We are all adulterers in terms of being unfaithful to God so I would seek God’s/Jesus council on this in the Bible so the sin of adultery within marriage is no better or worse than our sins against God generally. Question is – having done it what are we going to do about it?
Personally I would be cautious to marry a person whom I knew in advance had done this – not from a forgiveness point of view but from a behavioural point of view. Having said that these situations can be far from cut and dry and sometimes people are driven to it and regret it  – others just see it as an option if things aren’t going well. But that’s would be your call .
Update: 
Apologies – I was rushing didn’t really answer the question directly – as I think you need to really ask God yourself with an open heart – to any answer He may give – not necessarily the one we want to hear – which is not easy.

But I do feel we need to call a spade a spade – just as Jesus did – in other words God doesn’t want anyone to divorce – ever – no matter what the circumstances – that seems crystal clear and Jesus even goes as far as to say Moses giving a divorce certificate was not Gods way but because of hardened hearts it was the only option – and I think nothing has changed today, people have not become more ‘godly’.

But Jesus having spelled out in black and white terms what divorce amounts to in God’s eyes – always goes on to offer a way forward – sin of adultery within marriage is no worse than our sins against God generally. Question is – having done it what are we going to do about it – are we not going to call it out for what it is going to do it again?

So my summary of this issue (my humble opinion – please read the Bible yourself);

If it has happened and there is no going back – and we are to enter into another marriage.. we definitely can’t go into it the same way as we did before – the way the liberal churches teach it (since 70% their tithing congregation are likely divorced and most would leave) that divorce is an option if things don’t turn out the way we want.

It’s not what we can get out of it – it’s what we can give – how we can become the right person – not finding the right person for us. No one is ‘compatible’ – we are all self-serving – it’s about becoming compatible.

So my opinion would be yes – according to Jesus one is an adulterer – but from the Bible it’s clear God is always willing to wipe the slate clean. And never forget as I mentioned before – we are ALL adulterers in God’s eyes.

This is a harsh teaching from Jesus but I think the whole point of marriage is commitment – and there is no real commitment if we feel there is always an option to bail out.

How Do I Spot a Dating Scammer?

Online dating scams are so prevalent these days that many people are actually scared to use the Internet to find a soulmate. Just look at the uproar surrounding the generally believed to be safe, and the world’s largest dating site ‘Match.com’ for an idea of how ‘good’ things can go bad. To be frank – almost all dating sites and matchmaking services are set up purely for profit and because of this, website owners in the main don’t really care about individuals – you – or your safety. They are interested in their wallet.

The problem of romance scammers is most prevalent on free dating websites since there is no budget to weed out or vet individuals (there is one exception – the free site www.fusion101.com – owned and run by Christians and setup – purely to help Christian singles get married!)

Having said that, if you use a decent pay service – that will straight away eliminate a good proportion of scammers that are abroad – but of course it won’t protect you from people who can afford to pay but still have suspect motives and are looking for hookups and all the rest (if you are Christian and use a genuine Christian singles owned and run website you may be spared of much of this as the people on there in the main will be God fearing folk looking for like-minded people).

Spotting Internet Dating Scammers and Dating Con Artists

Below is a link to very in-depth guide as to how you can use the web to meet new singles and stay safe online.  Make sure you read all the way down to the end as there are some bullet points that will make you pretty scam-proof once you have read them! Of course – you can avoid any financial cons and con-artists by making a rule RIGHT NOW to NEVER send money online to anyone you meet on the web. This may not save you some heartache and time wasted but it will save your bank account being raided by unscrupulous people. God bless you and here is there article; How to stop romace scammers

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1st Date Advice Tips & Help for Christians

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“Worry doesn’t accomplish anything.” Psalm 37:8, TLB

stick-man-and-woman-peopleGot 1st date nerves? These days – it’s location, location, location! Could the same be said of a first date? You know – you only get one chance at making a good first impression so think your new date well through before committing to where and when:) There are no hard and fast rules but a bit of common sense can help loads. Think about the person you are meeting – what do you think they would like? – this is a great place to start!! Put yourself in your date’s shoes and start from there. Looking at the dating show pair. Mike – a fireman, chose for their meeting to take place at the top the Woolworth Building – his reason to start in a high place and so making a great first impression on his date!

How to Make a Good Impression on your 1st Date

Try something exhilarating like an action movie or a roller coaster if your date is not a wallflower – this will leave a great first impression – one as being exiting and they will associate the excitement with you! Keep things simple tho – you don’t want to have to worry about lots of details and make potential problems for yourself.

You don’t need to spend a fortune either (GUYS!). Most women out there with half a brain don’t like some flashy guy tying to impress her with his cash – she wants to be impressed by your creativity and care and if possible your charm and wit. Avoid tiny spaces and let your date chose where to sit – but guys – don’t be lame – make sure you do the organising once your date has given you the heads up in any decision making.

Related Christian topics

Christian Dating Guide | Christian Courting | Dating Safety | Romance Tips, Help & advice | Relationships

1st date advice, help & tips on making a good impression on your 1st date at christianadvice.net 2004

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stick-man-and-woman-peopleDo the many pay dating sites offer better services as you’d expect – well – yes – and no. Well… by their nature, free dating services are sometimes (not always) less feature-full and often have less members than the sites operated as pay as you go businesses. But it’s not always the case!! – there are some free sites that have lots of members and pay sites that have hardly anyone due to bad design and/or lack of marketing.

Are any Genuine Christian Dating sites out there Really 100% Always Free?

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Try 101 Christian Matchmaking & dating Web Site… 101 say: On our web site you can view profiles, upload photos, chat live, get notification of Christian events. It’s a cheap dating service… you can meet people worldwide for absolutely FREE – no charge ever. It really does seem that apart from slightly slow responses on queries – (it’s run by one man and his dog – literally!) – it’s a great date service with many 1000’s of members – 50’000 to be precise since starting in 99. Well we say; a Christian organisation (many ‘Christian sites’ sites aren’t) see their testimonies!

This happens because the romantic idea of opening a dating agency or singles site on the web is one that many people have – with millions of people on the Internet it seems impossible to fail, but in reality the competition is very fierce. Secular as well as Christian dating sites are all desperate to get each others customers not so much out of greed – more survival. The biggest sites seem to get bigger whilst the smallest get smaller – the same with most businesses these days.

But thinking about it, there will always be a new generation of single people eager to meet their future husband or wife so in that sense, there is always room for a new site or sites providing they are better than the sites that have gone before or the cheapest and best value for money. Take google for example. They only did what Alta-Vista were doing years before but they came along and did it much better!

Anyhow, over the last 4 years we’ve noted some of the sites that we’ve come across whilst surfing the web that by all accounts appear to be free – ie with no charge for continued or standard use and no free period. As to how good they are, well you can tell us at christianadvice.net. We listed the ones we reckoned were the best but that all depends on what you’re looking for in a dating service:) Happy hunting! At the top we have the ‘totally free sites’ – after these follow the sites that offer a free trial and various free periods but which basically are pay sites.

Totally free Date sites and services online…

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Jesus is Life Singles say: This is not just another site where you can get a quick free trial, create a glossy profile, get in, surf the pics, and get a date….But if you’re marriage minded and completely seeking God’s will in your search, it may be for you! Please keep reading.

How it’s Different
Comprehensive Profiles and Questionnaires. We ask the real questions. How did you come to know Christ? What do you believe God has called you to do with your life? What are your spiritual gifts? These and more are in essay format, so you can be expressive and tell your potential partner what he or she needs to know about you. The profiles are screened. If it does not appear serious or to be in line with the goals of this site, the person will not be admitted. You pay only for results. Unlike other sites, that charge you for a membership (after possibly a free trial), or per person you contact, you pay us only if you meet your spouse here. Joining is free, as long as you meet all our conditions.

How it Works
After agreeing to the conditions of this site at the bottom of the page, you’ll continue by creating a profile. It will include several essay type questions and multiple choices.After you submit the profile, it will be reviewed. If it is found to be serious and in line with the goals of the site, you’ll be e-mailed a password and be able to log in. Upon logging in, you will be able to browse and search profiles. If you find someone you would like to talk with, you can send a message to the person through the site. If when you decide to marry someone you met here, you pay for the service. It’s that simple! Pay only if you find your spouse. We say – definitely worth a try! www.jesusislife.net

Free Dating at Datingnmore.com
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What they say: Our dating site is 100% free!!! Not only there is no joining fee, but the further use of our dating services is absolutely free as well. Unlike other dating services when you sign up for free, but later discover that in order to use the most important site’s features (like email, ability to contact other members, chats etc…) you have to pay, Dating ‘n more is a really 100% free dating!!! No catch whatsoever.

Free Dating at www.mybestdate.co.uk
What they say: Our goal is to bring millions of people together. Unlike other dating sites on the net, we supply our dating services for you to find and date your match only, not to empty your wallet without no success in online dating. We have currently more than thousands of profiles registered as potential matches for you. You can chat, email, add to your friends and see what progress you are doing and what other people think about you easily with the easiest online dating interface, you can find on the Internet.

Partially free dating sites
These are services that offer free trial periods after which you will have to par – or reduced features for non paying members. Worth looking at:)

Christian Matchmaker say…
Meet thousands of Christians online for fun friendship and dating. Search and preview a sampling of member profiles and essays. See how our in-depth profiles help you find a meaningful relationship. Sign up to see 1,000’s more. Post a free profile – No credit card required – Search all profiles – Free private mailbox – Get email from others – Reply for Free. FREE 7 day trial.

We say – short free trial – pay as you go – professional looking site – worth a try!

If you own or run a completely free dating site or own one, advertise it free here. Partially free sites can advertise with a small advertising fee email christianadvice.net (see Contact Us below).

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Christian Marriage advice | Christian Discernment | How to Hear Gods Voice | Cheap dating Site Reviews | How To Find a Noble Wife | Find a Godly Husband

Free Christian Dating sites 2015, 2016 & services at Christianadvice.net 2014

What Does the Bible Say About Dating?

Does The Bible say anything at all on dating?

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Have you ever asked; what does the bible say about dating? Actually The Bible doesn’t explicitly talk about dating as you’d imagine – since dating as we know it is a relatively new thing. But obviously people have always met and become familiar with each other prior to marrying – except in arranged marriages. However the Bible is quite clear about the kind of people we mix and match with in general and it would sensibly follow to apply this to the even more serious matter of dating and eventually marriage itself. Here are some hints from The Bible…

open-bibleonwhite1 Cor 6:18: “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.”

1 Cor 15:33 B: “Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

2 Cor 6:15: “Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?”

In Bible Christian dating it would make great sense to keep the above principles in mind. The fact is you usually end up marrying those you date, therefore, consider the person’s you are dating and their relationship to the Lord (2 Cor. 6:15). The child of God should always put their relationship to the Lord first. If we date people who are not in a right relationship to God (perfection is not the issue since none of us are perfect), and we end up marrying them, there is a good chance that the unbeliever will cause us to fall away.

My experience is that about 90% of such marriages cause the believer to fall away and every relationship I have been in with a non believer has been short lived and ended in quite an unpleasant way. Remember the unbeliever is not in their mind constrained by the Biblical principles you are and therefore the balance is uneven and it is YOU that will have to change and compromise since your partner is already compromised. This is not tobe dogmatic and say that relationships of this kind can never work if the unbeliver is converted – this does happen. However you are at far greater risk statistically to end up in a ‘bad’ relationship so just think about it wisely before steaming ahead:)

Secondly, “flee” or RUN from immorality.(1 Cor. 6:18). RUN FROM situations that will put you in a possible position where you will be tempted to engage in immorality. Define sex with common sense. Don’t listen to the President on this issue.

Thirdly, “do not be deceived.” If you hang around with creeps, you will become one! (1 Cor. 15:33).

Related Christian topics

Christian marriage advice | Christian Discernment | Christian Marriage web sites |
Guidance by God 

Christian Bible help on dating at christianadvice.net 2014