Do you have Christian dating questions? If you have you can email them to us here anonymously and we will post an answer also anonymously. Anything from singleness, how best to meet other Christians, should you only date other believers, to love, to sex before marriage, to compatibility. For now though check out our recommended dating tips and advice guide here for lots of dating and advice for single Christians; Christian dating advice guide >>
“Hi, my question is regarding re-marriage. I am engaged to a man that has been married once before, and now divorced. During the marriage, both parties did things that could be considered unfaithful to one another. Although neither person knew what the other had done. The marriage did not necessarily end due to the unfaithful acts. My questions are: 1) since my fiance committed an act of
unfaithfulness towards his former wife, is he then always considered an adulterer, even if he has repented of his sin? 2) Is he allowed to be remarried and have it be ok in the eyes of God? 3) IF I marry him, will I then be committing sin and be considered an adulterer? Thank you so much.”
But I do feel we need to call a spade a spade – just as Jesus did – in other words God doesn’t want anyone to divorce – ever – no matter what the circumstances – that seems crystal clear and Jesus even goes as far as to say Moses giving a divorce certificate was not Gods way but because of hardened hearts it was the only option – and I think nothing has changed today, people have not become more ‘godly’.
But Jesus having spelled out in black and white terms what divorce amounts to in God’s eyes – always goes on to offer a way forward – sin of adultery within marriage is no worse than our sins against God generally. Question is – having done it what are we going to do about it – are we not going to call it out for what it is going to do it again?
So my summary of this issue (my humble opinion – please read the Bible yourself);
If it has happened and there is no going back – and we are to enter into another marriage.. we definitely can’t go into it the same way as we did before – the way the liberal churches teach it (since 70% their tithing congregation are likely divorced and most would leave) that divorce is an option if things don’t turn out the way we want.
It’s not what we can get out of it – it’s what we can give – how we can become the right person – not finding the right person for us. No one is ‘compatible’ – we are all self-serving – it’s about becoming compatible.
So my opinion would be yes – according to Jesus one is an adulterer – but from the Bible it’s clear God is always willing to wipe the slate clean. And never forget as I mentioned before – we are ALL adulterers in God’s eyes.
This is a harsh teaching from Jesus but I think the whole point of marriage is commitment – and there is no real commitment if we feel there is always an option to bail out.
Online dating scams are so prevalent these days that many people are actually scared to use the Internet to find a soulmate. Just look at the uproar surrounding the generally believed to be safe, and the world’s largest dating site ‘Match.com’ for an idea of how ‘good’ things can go bad. To be frank – almost all dating sites and matchmaking services are set up purely for profit and because of this, website owners in the main don’t really care about individuals – you – or your safety. They are interested in their wallet.
The problem of romance scammers is most prevalent on free dating websites since there is no budget to weed out or vet individuals (there is one exception – the free site www.fusion101.com – owned and run by Christians and setup – purely to help Christian singles get married!)
Having said that, if you use a decent pay service – that will straight away eliminate a good proportion of scammers that are abroad – but of course it won’t protect you from people who can afford to pay but still have suspect motives and are looking for hookups and all the rest (if you are Christian and use a genuine Christian singles owned and run website you may be spared of much of this as the people on there in the main will be God fearing folk looking for like-minded people).
Spotting Internet Dating Scammers and Dating Con Artists
Below is a link to very in-depth guide as to how you can use the web to meet new singles and stay safe online. Make sure you read all the way down to the end as there are some bullet points that will make you pretty scam-proof once you have read them! Of course – you can avoid any financial cons and con-artists by making a rule RIGHT NOW to NEVER send money online to anyone you meet on the web. This may not save you some heartache and time wasted but it will save your bank account being raided by unscrupulous people. God bless you and here is there article; How to stop romace scammers
QUESTION: “My boyfriend and I are 20 and 22 respectively and we have both already had sex with other people. We’ve always been Christians through our upbringing, but didn’t take the sex notion seriously. Since our previous relationships (6 months to a year ago) we’ve dedicated our hearts to the Lord! We are wondering if we should wait until marriage to have sex; we just started dating so marriage hasn’t been on the table, but neither of us has had a relationship without sex, and we want to do it right this time. I know premarital sex is a sin in the Bible, but is there a biblical reason we shouldn’t wait if we’ve already committed that sin?”
Our answer: The question you ask is: Is there a Biblical reason we SHOULDN’T wait till after marriage to have sex? The simple answer is: No. Nowhere in the Bible will you find a reason to have full intercourse outside a committed marriage relationship.
But the other question is, do you understand why sex outside marriage is ‘a sin’ according to the Bible? It is because, however enjoyable it might be at the time, in the end it is destructive rather than constructive.
This is because – as the Bible also tells us – full intercourse is special and unites two people in ways nothing else can; involves us sharing the deepest and most precious parts of ourselves; and works best against the background of a reliable long-term relationship. In God’s view, the only person who deserves to ‘know’ us in the way full intercourse allows them to is someone who loves us and is committed to us for life.
Sex before marriage can have these consequences:
- If the relationship ends, separation is that much more painful and difficult, with soul ties needing to be broken.
- The more different sexual partners we have the more of ourself we give away to people who don’t deserve us. So the more self-respect we give away, and the more people (through our memory) encroach into our ultimate marriage bed.
- If you have had full sexual intercourse with people other than your eventual husband or wife, you diminish the extent to which you have something special to give to them.
There are two final practical considerations:
- There is always the possibility of a pregnancy, and thus a child that will have to be brought up with a single parent.
- Sex with someone other than our long-term partner will always necessitate some cleansing and healing. This can be accomplished by God’s Spirit, but we can never be returned to the same pure and innocent state that we were in before.
It sounds as if you have now gone a long way in this self-healing process. What a shame it would be compound the damage (that is, the part of it that cannot be erased) and to have to start all over again with the process of healing what can be healed.
The longer you abstain from full intercourse the more your self-respect, purity, and wholeness will grow, and the more special this will be in your ultimate marriage, and the less second-hand will be the gift of yourself to your future husband or wife.
The more you abstain, the more also you can concentrate undistracted on the most important part of a relationship – that of becoming friends and discovering whether you are compatible as people. Sexual activity clouds our judgment in other areas of a relationship.
Lastly, the Bible tells us that any sexual contact you have with someone who is not your husband or wife, the more you steal from their ultimate husband or wife. (1 Thess 4:6) A useful guideline is to ask yourself this: if I were now watching my true, ultimate lifetime partner, the one I would someday come to adore, what would I be happy to see them doing, or how far would I be happy to see them going, with someone else before they met me?
The Ten Commandments of Dating specifically for single Christians
This is one of the best selling Christian Guides to Dating you can buy. Are you tired of pouring time, energy and money into relationships that start off great and end with heartache? If so, you need The Ten Commandments of Dating to give you the hard-hitting, black-and-white, practical guidelines that will address your questions and frustrations about dating. find out more or order it now from AMAZON at the cheapest price on the Internet!
The best selling & most popular Singles dating book on the Internet!
Looking for books on Christian romance, fictional romantic novels for Christians
Click here for 270,000 Christian Singles online – totally FREE – no ties!
The Best Free Dating Sites for Christians
Do the many pay dating sites offer better services as you’d expect – well – yes – and no. Well… by their nature, free dating services are sometimes (not always) less feature-full and often have less members than the sites operated as pay as you go businesses. But it’s not always the case!! – there are some free sites that have lots of members and pay sites that have hardly anyone due to bad design and/or lack of marketing.
Are any Genuine Christian Dating sites out there Really 100% Always Free?
Christian Dating is Always 100% FREE >>
Try 101 Christian Matchmaking & dating Web Site… 101 say: On our web site you can view profiles, upload photos, chat live, get notification of Christian events. It’s a cheap dating service… you can meet people worldwide for absolutely FREE – no charge ever. It really does seem that apart from slightly slow responses on queries – (it’s run by one man and his dog – literally!) – it’s a great date service with many 1000’s of members – 50’000 to be precise since starting in 99. Well we say; a Christian organisation (many ‘Christian sites’ sites aren’t) see their testimonies!
This happens because the romantic idea of opening a dating agency or singles site on the web is one that many people have – with millions of people on the Internet it seems impossible to fail, but in reality the competition is very fierce. Secular as well as Christian dating sites are all desperate to get each others customers not so much out of greed – more survival. The biggest sites seem to get bigger whilst the smallest get smaller – the same with most businesses these days.
But thinking about it, there will always be a new generation of single people eager to meet their future husband or wife so in that sense, there is always room for a new site or sites providing they are better than the sites that have gone before or the cheapest and best value for money. Take google for example. They only did what Alta-Vista were doing years before but they came along and did it much better!
Anyhow, over the last 4 years we’ve noted some of the sites that we’ve come across whilst surfing the web that by all accounts appear to be free – ie with no charge for continued or standard use and no free period. As to how good they are, well you can tell us at christianadvice.net. We listed the ones we reckoned were the best but that all depends on what you’re looking for in a dating service:) Happy hunting! At the top we have the ‘totally free sites’ – after these follow the sites that offer a free trial and various free periods but which basically are pay sites.
Totally free Date sites and services online…
A Radically Different Christian Matchmaking Site…
Jesus is Life Singles say: This is not just another site where you can get a quick free trial, create a glossy profile, get in, surf the pics, and get a date….But if you’re marriage minded and completely seeking God’s will in your search, it may be for you! Please keep reading.
How it’s Different
Comprehensive Profiles and Questionnaires. We ask the real questions. How did you come to know Christ? What do you believe God has called you to do with your life? What are your spiritual gifts? These and more are in essay format, so you can be expressive and tell your potential partner what he or she needs to know about you. The profiles are screened. If it does not appear serious or to be in line with the goals of this site, the person will not be admitted. You pay only for results. Unlike other sites, that charge you for a membership (after possibly a free trial), or per person you contact, you pay us only if you meet your spouse here. Joining is free, as long as you meet all our conditions.
How it Works
After agreeing to the conditions of this site at the bottom of the page, you’ll continue by creating a profile. It will include several essay type questions and multiple choices.After you submit the profile, it will be reviewed. If it is found to be serious and in line with the goals of the site, you’ll be e-mailed a password and be able to log in. Upon logging in, you will be able to browse and search profiles. If you find someone you would like to talk with, you can send a message to the person through the site. If when you decide to marry someone you met here, you pay for the service. It’s that simple! Pay only if you find your spouse. We say – definitely worth a try! www.jesusislife.net
Free Dating at Datingnmore.com
What they say: Our dating site is 100% free!!! Not only there is no joining fee, but the further use of our dating services is absolutely free as well. Unlike other dating services when you sign up for free, but later discover that in order to use the most important site’s features (like email, ability to contact other members, chats etc…) you have to pay, Dating ‘n more is a really 100% free dating!!! No catch whatsoever.
Free Dating at www.mybestdate.co.uk
What they say: Our goal is to bring millions of people together. Unlike other dating sites on the net, we supply our dating services for you to find and date your match only, not to empty your wallet without no success in online dating. We have currently more than thousands of profiles registered as potential matches for you. You can chat, email, add to your friends and see what progress you are doing and what other people think about you easily with the easiest online dating interface, you can find on the Internet.
Partially free dating sites
These are services that offer free trial periods after which you will have to par – or reduced features for non paying members. Worth looking at:)
Christian Matchmaker say…
Meet thousands of Christians online for fun friendship and dating. Search and preview a sampling of member profiles and essays. See how our in-depth profiles help you find a meaningful relationship. Sign up to see 1,000’s more. Post a free profile – No credit card required – Search all profiles – Free private mailbox – Get email from others – Reply for Free. FREE 7 day trial.
We say – short free trial – pay as you go – professional looking site – worth a try!
If you own or run a completely free dating site or own one, advertise it free here. Partially free sites can advertise with a small advertising fee email christianadvice.net (see Contact Us below).
Related Christian Topics
Free Christian Dating sites 2015, 2016 & services at Christianadvice.net 2014