How Do I Deal With an Abusive Parent?

Question;  How Do I Deal With an Abusive Parent?

“I am a 13 year old Christian boy. My dad has been verbally abusing me with loud shouting and threading me physically to me and my brothers. His anger came from my grandfather abusing him and my dad and my grandfather relationship are not healthy. I was never able to see my grandfather that much as my mom’s father. He would shout at us when my mom isn’t at home. He would try to punish us in a way that it will scare us and hurt us. I think it’s affecting me mentally,socially. He tried to feed us cow stomach for some reason and he got mad because I didn’t like it. I have a lot of stress from him. He blames that I told on my mother that he was angry which I haven’t recently. His shouting is so loud the people can hear him next door. It’s hard for me to respect my dad if he and emotionally verbally abuse me. My ears hurt because he shouts so loud. He says people like me are the worst humans. Now I don’t know what I did wrong to anger him and I am very confused. I think I have anxiety disorder because I feel like harming myself sometimes. He says he’s trying control his anger. He’s lectures me that I have to choose a career even though I want to still have few more years to think about it. I feel confused, scared, hurt and sad. I’m scared of myself if ever abuse my child. Please help what to do. I am going to pray for my dad and myself.”


Answer:  Dealing with Abusive Parents?

Very hard to advise as I don’t really know the situation there. Sounds like your father had a rough time so that anger is hard to deal with for him and you. When the situation you describe happens, you must try to stand back and remind yourself why someone does something and then try to forgive over and over – very hard to forgive but if you don’t you get ill – don’t fight back with the verbal stuff. Show no resistance and you may see a change in him over time – Ive seen this work several times. Obviously physical abuse is different and self defence no problem but avoid physical confrontation at all cost.

Re career – most fathers get upset when their kids don’t work or show little sign of wanting to as young people now are often encouraged to spend their time on the PC more than actually being productive and contributing to society so this sometimes upsets the older generations that literally sometimes had to die for what we have now.
My best advice there is if you haven’t already perhaps to get a part time job if it’s possible – any job – until you know what you want to do longer term. Jesus was a carpenter so no work is beneath anyone – and this may keep you out of each others hair and he will be pleased you are looking after yourself.
Please don’t harm yourself – you are no worse than any other human I promise and made in image of God! Ive been so stressed I know what that felling is like to want to hurt yourself. You gotta keep busy – keep learning new things that will help you later in life – watch some inspirational videos then maybe get off the PC and outside make sure you are with people.


Related articles on dealing with an abusive parent, mother or father

www.drphil.com – article on dealing with abusive parents

How Do I Stop Blushing or Going Red Faced?

Question: I blush easily about pretty much anything. My teacher can be talking to me and I’ll start getting red and I don’t like it at all I have researched it and I’ve seen things like taking pills or hypnosis and I haven’t gone any more in depth in these options because I have faith God alone can get rid of my problem. My question to you would be what can I do so god can help me get rid of this problem or maybe I should look into taking pills or hypnosis? What do you think?


 

Answer: Don’t take anything for it unless absolutely necessary. First thing to understand is that this happens to all people and it’s not something to be ashamed of – I had exact same issue when I was a kid. Very difficult I know and I still get it sometimes – we all do – even at 40+!

Concentrate on becoming more confident, not with self help books but by reading God’s view of you in The Bible (which is that you are a cherished son and to fear no man!).

Forget what people think about you – you blush sometimes – but I guarantee that whilst you might have this one issue – other people will have a many issues they are battling with that you don’t know about.

As you gain confidence slowly placing yourself in greater and greater places where this may happen so you can overcome it. Start with practicing speaking up in small groups on things you really know about, and at some point you will actually enjoy taking to larger groups without blushing.

You don’t need hypnotism either – all these things don’t address the root of the problem – i’e the fear of man – and you have nothing to fear – all people are the same – some have learned to cover up their insecurities better than others! You don’t want to cover up anything – you want to overcome the problem by gaining real confidence – and that can only come by practicing talking in real life situations.

There are MANY adults that have this problem and there are social groups you might join to practice interacting with people who won’t judge you on sites like www.meetup.com etc. Hope that gives you some ideas.:)

God bless you.

Worry & Anxiety Help

What The Bible Says about Worry. How a Christian can Overcome Anxiety

open-bibleonwhiteWorry doesn’t accomplish anything. Psalm 37:8, TLB.
“Stop your anger! Turn off your wrath. Don’t fret and worry -it only leads to harm.”

There’s no need to worry, God has everything under control. Matthew 6:31-33, TLB.
“So don’t worry at all about having enough food and clothing. Why be like the heathen? For they take pride in all these things and are deeply concerned about them. But your heavenly Father already knows perfectly well that you need them, and He will give them to you if you give Him first place in your life and live as He wants you to.”

We cannot stop worrying until we replace it with something better – prayer. Philippians 4:6-7, TLB.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.”

Worrying is a waste of time. Luke 12:25-26, TLB.
“And besides, what’s the use of worrying? What good does it do? Will it add a single day to your life? Of course not! And if worry can’t even do such little things as that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?” Give all your worries to the Lord. , I Peter 5:7, TLB. “Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.”

Related Christian topics

Christian depression help | Christian Discernment | help with failure | Guidance by God | singleness

Christian advice help & tips at christianadvice.net 2003

Failure

Dealing With Failure & Help With Failing

What The Bible Says on Failure, Christian help, Books

open-bibleonwhiteFailure is not the end. Psalm 37:23-24, TLB.
“The steps of good men are directed by the Lord. He delights in each step they take. If they fall it isn’t fatal, for the Lord holds them with His hand.”

depressed-lady-onwhiteEven good people fail. Psalm 34:19, TLB.
“The good man does not escape all troubles, he has them too. But the Lord helps him in each and every one.”

When you fail – you can succeed next time. Philippians 4:13, TLB.
“For I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power.”

Don’t let failing or failure discourage. Joshua 1:9, TLB.
“be bold and strong! Banish fear and doubt! For remember, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”


Buy Help Books on coping, how to overcome and avoid Failure at AMAZON >>


Article on Faith

Christian Debt Advice and Help

Debt Advice & Help for Christians on Getting out of Debt

depressed-lady-onwhiteAlthough the following advice is pretty tough, it’s meant to encourage, not add guilt if you are struggling financially. Fusion does not teach the nonsense prosperity gospel – can you see Jesus teaching that?! Let’s look at him. No – there’s a difference between god blessing us with wealth and us expecting it!

We appreciate it is more difficult for some to be debt free than others. Plus, there are companies out there who rely on you being in debt and make it their business to dream up new ways to keep you there. We know there are rich and poor among us so we don’t want to trivialise anyones predicament. God knows our problems and our debt and sometimes it can be crushing. We hope this helps.

open-bibleonwhiteWhat Does The Bible Say on Loans and Being in Debt?

The Bible says ‘don’t get into debt try to practice this wise counselling. Settle the smallest debts so that you can see light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t stop till you are in the clear. We are accountable to ourselves and God. Don’t wallow in pity. We all have problems so grow up and do something to get out of debt. This may mean serious sacrifice.

Change your life by changing your attitude. This applies to work and money. Don’t conform to others …ie be lazy… work hard and think differently. Success (becoming mature in Christ) = belief and commitment. You can do almost anything so long as it doesn’t violate His law or fellow humans. It is a fact that although we shouldn’t make financial security our final goal or God – these things are more likely to come to those who are responsible. To those that can see others struggling – help them out.

Worry doesn’t accomplish anything. Psalm 37:8, TLB
.”Stop your anger! Turn off your wrath. Don’t fret and worry -it only leads to harm.”

There’s no need to worry, God has everything under control. Matthew 6:31-33, TLB.
“So don’t worry at all about having enough food and clothing. Why be like the heathen? For they take pride in all these things and are deeply concerned about them. But your heavenly Father already knows perfectly well that you need them, and He will give them to you if you give Him first place in your life and live as He wants you to.”

We cannot stop worrying until we replace it with something better – prayer. Philippians 4:6-7, TLB.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.”

Worrying is a waste of time. Luke 12:25-26, TLB.
“And besides, what’s the use of worrying? What good does it do? Will it add a single day to your life? Of course not! And if worry can’t even do such little things as that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?” Give all your worries to the Lord. , I Peter 5:7, TLB. “Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.”

Related Christian topics

Christian finance advice | Christian DiscernmentGuidance by God | The Bible & Money

Christian debt advice help & tips at christianadvice.net

Death & Dying: Comfort for Christians in Mourning

Advice & Help for Christians on Dying & Death

“Stop your anger! Turn off your wrath. Don’t fret and worry – it only leads to harm.”

Death we must all face, and at various times become more or less of an issue in our Christian lives. If you are seeking Biblical or just general answers on death and dying make sure you take a good look at the Bible. Also see these very helpful sites and articles below concerning death – coping and dealing with this huge but often not talked about taboo subject.


Can The Bible help with the issue of Death?

Matthew 5:4  “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

open-bibleonwhite2 Corinthians 1:3-4  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Psalm 37:8, TLB “Worry doesn’t accomplish anything.”

Isaiah 41:10  “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 43:2  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

Psalm 18:28  “You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.”

Psalm 46:1-2  “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.”

Revelation 21:4  ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Psalm 119:50  “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”

Romans 8:18  “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”


See these Christian help sites regarding The Bible & Death

www.gotquestions.org/death.html

Facing death as a Christian

Dealing with the death of a child

How to deal with death as a Christian

murder and death in the Bible