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Should Christians be Dating or Courting – What’s The Difference?

The recent (or longstanding however you look at it) debate on Christian courting or courtship versus Christian dating, is a hot topic these days in churches and Christian communities.

What is courting?.. and what’s dating? The definitions as you would expect are blurred (since the meaning of all words shift over time) and different cultures certainly have different meanings for them. Actually they are different points along the course of finding a marriage partner in these times when marriages are no longer arranged (yes they once were for most people).

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So where does one start? First – there’s a need to look at the present meanings and connotations associated with the words ‘courting’ and ‘dating’ in order to answer the question of wether courting or dating is more acceptable for Christians. The term dating in the dictionary certainly does, as far as I can see, mean pretty much what we mean when we say ‘courting’ – just take a look at this.


What is Dating? – Dictionary guide definition:

1) “An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.”
2) “One’s companion on such an outing”.

What is Courting? – Dictionary guide definition:
“To try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry.
To attempt to gain the favor of by attention or flattery: a salesperson courting a potential customer.”

Interestingly – according to the dictionary meaning of the words, I’d put my money on ‘dating’.. since it’s actually ‘courting’, according to the definition above that involves trying to gain someones interest and even ‘marry’ by gaining attention, flattery, salesmanship!

The reality is somewhere in between. We all need to sell ourselves well to others at work and even in the matching game. But it should be done carefully and prayerfully!:) We shouldn’t seek to try people out for size or take them for a test run. This is worldly.

So it is in fact us humans that have attached a negative connotation with the word dating! If ‘Dating’ to you is trying each girl in the congregation out for size – then yes – you have it all wrong. If however it means carefully getting ot know someone slowly and prayerfully – and at some point asking them out to see if you get on and have things in common – then that’s perfect. One can’t be expected to do more than that.

If you want to meet Christian friends, a soulmate, penpal or someone you can seriously start to court, check out some of these Christian club venues and websites online!!!!

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